Oh dear

I feel like I’m going to puke.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this physically ill just thinking about and preparing for an exam.

Which really makes me wonder- if this class is so hard for me, is this really what I should be doing?

Overactive mind in the wee hours of the morning is not such a good thing.

I think I know what else is contributing to my nausea.  Ughhh I need to shovel.

A breath of air

Before I jump into the last days of summer session.

I had my second o-chem midterm today, and I really felt like a weight was being lifted off of me as I walked out of the classroom.  Since Thursday, I’ve been frantically studying and doing my best to get a ton of information into head.  It’s been especially hard because I haven’t seen a lot of my friends all summer, and every time I go home I feel like I’m neglecting them.  Also, I went to the Jack’s Mannequin/The Fray concert on Saturday and I first I felt like I couldn’t enjoy myself at all because I was fretting over the practice tests I still had to do.  But as soon as The Fray came onstage I got pumped up so it was okay!  I had my few hours of fun!

This whole summer session thing has kind of been a drag because I expected things to be a lot different.  I expected to be able to go home on weekends, leave all thoughts of school behind, and just hang out with people and catch up with what everyone has been up to.  Instead, I’ve been stuck with insane amounts of work every weekend, and it’s all I can to keep up.  I guess I’ve just been feeling like I’m being left out of all the summer fun, and I’m not super happy with how this part of summer has panned out.

But now that it’s almost over, I know that it was the smart thing to do.  I’m sorry to all the friends I haven’t been able to see.  I’m sorry to my Berkeley buddies for having to deal with a strung out Andrea before her midterm.  Thanks for dealing with that.  And I don’t think any of you read this, but for you kids who visited Berkeley last night/today, sorry for being such a drag at lunch and not being able to be a good host.

Breathe, breathe, breathe.  And then go back for more.

Study break (Part II)

The top of my foot itches like crazy.  So last night, I thought I dripped water on my foot while I was drinking (sounds awkward, but it’s because I sit in really random positions when I study) because I felt something kind of tickle.  Today, it started itching like crazy and I scratched it without realizing it was a bug bite!  Grossgrossgross.

I can hear my jaw click when I chew.  Kind of disturbing.

The arch of my foot completely cramped up earlier when I was standing so I ended up falling over and then crawling to my chair.

My brother called me and said he was in Oregon.  So weird.

Okay, that is all.  I feel much better than yesteryday, probably because it’s not night time and I’m not exhausted.   Also, I have been doing lots and lots of problems so I feel slightly more prepared.  I still have a lot to do though.  Aughhh twenty-four hours until I head to my midterm.

Study break

Right now, I really wish I could just be at home where all my friends are.  Yeah sure I know I’ll be so glad I took chem over the summer once fall semester starts, but at this instant I am miserable.  The only time I left the apartment today was to go downstairs and throw out the trash.  I feel like I’ve been studying all day, but the feeling that I’m never going to be prepared won’t go away.  It just sucks to be by yourself, and hour away from home, and then having people tell you that they’re doing this or that.  I know it’s not their intention, but I feel like the fact that I’m stuck here studying my ass off is just being thrown in my face.

I feel like I’m just going to break any second.  I’m overreacting about stupid things, I’m taking everything too seriously, and I just feel like a horrible person.  Maybe I’m just too sensitive about things that really don’t matter.  Maybe I don’t see the point in making fun of people.  Maybe I just need to go back to studying and own my midterm and just feel better about myself.

I wonder why I don’t have any stuffed animals here with me in Berkeley.