Feels like spring

Yesterday and today have been the nicest days weather wise in a really long time.  Warm weather usually cheers me up a lot, because it reminds me of summer and freedom and simplicity.

But all I’m thinking about right now is how quickly things change and how miserable I am now compared to before.  It’s stupid, I know.  I’m just having a really hard time moving on and letting go.  I am really tempted to just hole up in my room until I go back to school.  I can’t do that though because it would be first semester all over again.

I was happy then.  I can be happy now even without you.

Time, work your magic please.

I still remember when love was enough

So this ridiculously long winter break is driving me somewhat insane.  I know I should be glad that I get so much time off, but I feel like my brain is rotting away as I watch hours of Discovery and Food Network.  Seriously, I’m not a big tv person but this break was just…something else.

Anyway, my point is that too much free time gives me too much time to let my mind wander and think too much.  I overanalyze the stupidest things, I create alternate scenarios in my mind, and I daydream about possible futures.  It’s pretty stupid and frustrating, and almost always ends up with me being unsatisfied with how things are right now.

I guess my thing of the year should really be trying to find a way to be content with what life gives me at the moment.  This doesn’t mean that I won’t try and make things better for myself, but I shouldn’t be constantly thinking “what if” or “why didn’t I” or anything of that nature.  I realize that this is a pretty lofty goal for me, but I’m going to keep at it for the sake of my sanity, well-being, and happiness.

But there are certain things that I can’t fix on my own.  I’ll leave that up to time.

—–

I just read my horoscope for today.

“Focusing on one relationship is really not a good idea.  Spread the love.”

Hah.  I guess it’s the kick in the butt I need.